Happy New Years/ 1101104031221

Happy 2 months & new year’s baby. Already? Time sure does fly by in a quickness. You can pretty much say these past two months done me well and made me realized a whole new chapter in life. Hm, when we started this whole “talking” thing and before arguments, where we’d just vent and tell each other everything made me the happiest girl, looking back. Remember the nights where we would just talk about deep ass things, or question games and phoning til the next school day. You never fail to make me happy. I would always hated when you called me the weirdest and ugliest names I hate being called. It was just 4 months ago where this whole thing started. I’m glad it’s you I finally don’t complain about so much. You never really left my side. It was either from you checking up on me or your after school visits or you picking me up and we go do whatever your errands would be. I still remember the first time I was actually introduced to your parents again, ah. :O It was one of the scariest feeling ever, but then I started to get use too it. Every time your parents would disconnect your phone line and I’d get so scared when you tell me to call back. I miss your phone calls, voice, and everything. This might be shocking but I even miss complaining every time you would leave me for your COD Black Ops/ Mw2. From this very day, yes, I still get the butterflies when I receive a phone call from you or your letters. I know you haven’t been really around lately for me like you usually are, so things are different. It’s just surprises me that I haven’t seen you for one month. I have done a good month by myself already and I’m still here for you. I just still wish I got an exact answer on how long you have to serve time in there. I didn’t expect something like this to really happen, but I guess you can use this as your test that you always tell me. Just sometimes, I wish things were so much easier then to be said. You’re right I didn’t lose you because you’re still here, just not around to be there like you want too. It’s been a long ride already and it’s just the beginning. Yeah, I might not be the best girlfriend out there. Thanks for actually accepting me and all my flaws. Hmm.. I still have news flash of that same night last month. I knew I shouldn’t have told you that. Why did I do that? Damn, Karma is such a fucking bitch. Maybe that was my karma, not having you here. Remembering the night of our BIGGEST argument. Oh boy, I thought everything was just going to end right there.. I’m happy it didn’t though.  Guess what? You jinxed your words again. “I just feel like being locked up will take me away from my problems, but I don’t want too because of you”. Next thing you know, bam. Ahhh, Everything’s just so crazy. You seriously don’t even know how much I miss you. With you coming out and maybe even moving. Another problem but I don’t even fucking care about that. You don’t hear this much from me but I love having you as a best friend and my boyfriend. It’s pretty cool. I hate it when you think your gang gets in the way of how I might feel about you sometimes. It doesn’t. I don’t care, at the end of the day if you’re still here for me, I’m fine and happy(: Thanks for sticking with me since day one and never gave up. You’re truly the best. Oh & one more thing, i love you babyc! Happy 2 months, bahbeeehs! See you hopefully soon. I hope your court hearing next week goes good for you.
-Queenz/ LadyBabyC <3
p.s. I promise to try my best to hook up an account, if I remember ^^

 Yesterday was the last of it for 2010, I'm so happy that it's done and over with. All the typical bullshit and pain and memorable times I had last year, will never be forgotten, but I'm ready for this new start and new beginnings. I'm trying to find myself better and find my surroundings and find my inner me more than I have last year. I want to be able to do things I didn't so in 2010. Having the ability to have more esteem in myself without being afraid. New years resolution will be followed through so I can help myself out to be nothing but a better person. I want to learn more about God and how to love people more, and start accepting all the things I have in life, then just being so negative about it. This year will be much different. Holding everything down, just the way I want it. I will strive for nothing but the best. Cutting off the slacking and bullshit. Time to pilot my own way in life. I can't wait for baby to get out so things can be much easier for me. Damn, it has been a while. I hope he doesn't spend the whole 2011 in there. Gee, that would suck and ruin part of my year. I'm ready for challenges though. Can't wait to really start exercising again and watch my figure though. Happy New Years everyone! Enjoy the year with blessings. Party it safe. Don't drink and drive succcckas!

A few memories :

2010 YOU WILL BE MISSED. It was good having you around while it lasted. Chuckin' up my deuces with ya. Out with the old and in with the new. Wss'good for this year 2011! (:

Scorpio: Monthly Overview.
-Having a hard time making decisions on the 1st? Hey, it happens to the best. Give yourself a little more time. In fact, stop thinking about the whole thing altogether. Go for a run or a swim and let your decision-making muscles take a rest. Ahhh! Now, that feels better, doesn't it? You know just what it is you want, and what you need to do to get it, the ever-so-wonderful 2nd and 3rd. How'd you get to be so darned irresistible, anyhow? The 7th and 8th are good days to sign. So put your John Hancock down there at the bottom. Romance and creativity are two key concepts for you on the 11th, 12th and 13th. So let your imagination run wild! Don't rush anything at work in your eagerness to call it a day on the 18th. You need to take this slow. Your boss bugs you on the 23rd. The 25th is a good day. So is the 26th. You finally feel like you've found your rhythm. Get ready for a super stellar wrap to the year on the 29th, 30th and 31st. Things are happening left and right. Dreams are coming true. Make your resolutions, then enjoy the ride! 

"Our weakest points are our strongest lesson" -Catherine Ybarra

#11011040312JHQPN.

Did I just lose you again, for the second year? Did I not see this coming? Or did I but didn’t want to do anything? It’s hard to sit here every single day and night and expect for a phone call. It’s killing me inside so much. I hate crying myself to sleep. I hate those nights where all I can do is lay in bed without your voice saying “Babe….babe…Baby..babe” just to make sure I’m still awake with you, so we can phone all night. I can’t cry to you when I have a bad dream. Whose going to check up on me, when I’m panting hella loud? Whose going to try and tell me wsup, even though I end up mad? Whose going to do all of this? No one. I would never thought that something like this was heading towards this was so quick. I remember when I wasn’t use to late night phone calls, but when you came along everything changed. The very first night when we started opening up to each other.. oh damn. It got to me how I’ve known you for so long, and look at where we are standing now. Top of the line. “No girl will be there for me like you will” was your words. “I’ll never do anything to hurt Nancy, never will I leave her” you didn’t leave me in a way where you dropped me for another girl, but you left me going back in there. I always told you to be careful, be cool. You’ve hold your cool for a quick minute, then you lost it and I hate seeing you at break points like that. Member our first fight? We didn’t even talk that night? How sucky. All the arguments we’ve already been through, but each one did make us closer together. Our biggest fight, Saturday night. Thanks for letting me cry to you, hit you, hug you. Thanks for coming over when I was outside making sure I was okay. Thanks for running over at 10 at night when I got a fucked up face. Last time I saw you Monday at 3:30 ): I’m at least happy I got to see you with a smile on your face, with your dimples, and that hug you gave me was the last hug I got from you. It hurts that my last words, I couldn’t even say I love you to you. I hate how I wish I would’ve done things so much better and shouldn’t have treated you so mean. If I could take some things back, I would. Each night we didn’t talk, I could’ve been talking to you these days making up for it, but that’s so impossible. You taught me so much, to always be strong for myself, never be scared of anyone, that people do love me and not everyone will hurt me especially you. You really are different. It’s okay if you’re a gangster, I accept you for who you are. It’s what you are and what can I do about it? Nothing but be there for you. I want to be that girl in your life for the longest time possible. The girl that you’re parents will keep loving and telling me to watch after you. You might not know it, but I’ve been with them this past week a lot and with you family. Each time, I take a step into your room, Nothing but memories. It scares me so much, especially your doll! but you have a secret stache up there, I see. Did you know your computer is taken? And that I took one of your pencil and your id. Sorry! I’m never leaving, please never doubt my love for you, as much as it sounds so corny, I really do mean it. I want you to be strong in there for yourself. Every night I wonder what goes through your mind. How do you sleep? Do you even sleep? Do you think about me just a little? I just try and imagine the look on your face. )= It saddens me, because I know you have a hard time sleeping just like me. Face it, it’s hard for both of us, but we can’t be weak and lose hope in everything. Hold on baby, we’re all fighting for you. In the end, everything is going to be fine, maybe not now, but everyone is hoping and praying things will. Once you get out, I hope you learn from everything. I hope you stay away from trouble. I read everything, and you seemed scared :/ Broke me. Be good in there. As for me, I’m trying my best to hold it down, but honestly I’m scared, of them might coming for me. :/ I’ve been nothing but paranoid lately. I hate it. My friends don’t support me, and it kills me. You know how I am when I’m sad. I do nothing but cry and cry and cry. But I have Joanna, Nikki and Aj looking after me. I just need you to be holding it down in there and not do anything stupid. Something I never say when we’re mad, is I love you. But you know what? Truth is, I really do love you. I never just pop it out randomly my love for someone. Ours is different though. 1101403 on lock though, FOREVER TIL WE DIE <3
 10 minutes to everyone is probably a short time, but to me it’s a lot. I need to come up on money like real fast, but it’s not even that easy. Thanks for the calls making sure I’m doing fine and telling me to be happy out here. Even though it’s a quick session talking to you, I’m glad you’re still the one I can come running too with all my problems. 2 more weeks til the next hearing. I’m praying and praying that you will be released. I know it’s not your fault, it was never with to begin with. You’re a really good person not taking everything out on everyone involved. At least, I know you are safe in there and that you’re room mate/ cell buddy makes you laugh and that he’s funny. At least you have someone you can have someone to talk too and vent too. I still remember when you told me we were suppose to watch Saw 3-d together because you wanted to watch it, but you just watched it in there. We were suppose to watch Tangled, since I wanted too. It sucks that I can’t those long night calls over 3 -7 hours. I miss when you tell me to get up since I knock out so easily. You wanna know something? You have the best dad. I’m glad you finally realize that. You use to always say he never gave a shit about you, but when he talks to me you should see how much he cares about you. He wants to bring you home and he knows you did nothing wrong. He knows everything. You don’t know how hard he’s fighting to bring you back. He’s doing his best even when he’s broke. 0$ but he’s still here fighting to get you home and safe. You’re mom is having massive headaches. They all love you trust me. I’ve been around them a lot, and I think my “fear” for them is gone because I finally got to really talk to them. Well, they’re planning to move. They already are looking for houses, Morgan Hill maybe? I honestly think it’s the best for you guys to move, it’s just everyone’s safety. It won’t change a thing you said, trust me baby, it will. We’ll be so distance, but it won’t break us at all, I promise you. Member near or far, we’ll make it to the end. I’m driving soon anyways(: I remember when your mom asked me for your birthday and she said me and you would do good<3 Means a lot. We’ll I hope everything will good for you. Be happy for me please. I love you, always.